i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
