I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
