i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
