I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize