My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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