We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
