did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
smell my finger.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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