afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
