I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
