bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
