so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
