sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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