need another drink. this is the easiest way
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
