Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize