Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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