Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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