i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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