And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You need Xanax blowdarts
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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