no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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