i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
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I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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