i barfeds in our rink
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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