tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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