Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize