so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
