Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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