Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
