I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
