I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
