Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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