I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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