i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
