Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
where are my eyebrows?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
