bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm at about main and main street
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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