doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
