if you like me you must not know who I am
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
