She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
