if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize