goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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