oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
