He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Randomize
