playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
