Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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