remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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