Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
