question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
