I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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