i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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