Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
