One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
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Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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