I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
