Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
