yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
whose ass print is on the piano?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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