just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
