so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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