dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
