weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
3pm strippers are depressing
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
