I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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