Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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