ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
