i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
