I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
