just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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