How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
